Have you ever felt like you’re standing on the edge of change, but you just can’t seem to take the leap? Like you know what you need to do, but something keeps pulling you back to your old habits and behaviors? I’ve been there. And let me tell you, it’s frustrating.
That’s why Chapter 4 of Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself was such a revelation for me. Dr. Joe Dispenza introduces the concept of the gap—the space between your old self and your new self. And he explains that to create lasting change, you need to step into this gap and stay there.
What is the Gap?
The gap is the space between who you are and who you want to be. It’s the uncomfortable, uncertain, and sometimes scary place where change happens. When you step into the gap, you’re leaving behind your old habits and behaviors and stepping into a new way of being.
For me, this meant letting go of my old identity—the person who was stuck in negative thought patterns, self-doubt, and procrastination. It meant stepping into the unknown and embracing the possibility of becoming someone new.
Awareness is the First Step
Dr. Dispenza explains that you can’t change what you’re not aware of. To step into the gap, you need to become aware of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. What patterns are holding you back? What habits are keeping you stuck?
I started paying attention to my thoughts and emotions. I noticed when I was slipping into old patterns—like overthinking, self-criticism, or avoidance. At first, it was uncomfortable. But I realized that awareness is the first step to change. You can’t change what you don’t see.
Set a Clear Intention
Once you’re aware of your old patterns, the next step is to set a clear intention for who you want to become. What kind of person do you want to be? How do you want to think, feel, and act?
For me, this meant setting an intention to be more confident, focused, and present. I visualized the person I wanted to become—someone who was calm under pressure, who trusted herself, and who took action instead of procrastinating.
Stay in the Gap
Here’s the hard part: staying in the gap. Change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time for your brain and body to adapt to a new way of being. And during that time, it’s going to feel uncomfortable.
I’ll be honest—there were days when I wanted to give up. Old habits kept pulling me back, and it felt easier to just stay the same. But I reminded myself that the discomfort was temporary. If I could stay in the gap long enough, my new self would start to feel natural.
Practice Makes Permanent
The more you practice new thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, the more automatic they become. Over time, your new self will feel like the real you.
For me, this meant practicing new habits every day. I started meditating, journaling, and setting small goals for myself. At first, it felt forced. But over time, it became second nature. And as I practiced, I started to feel more like the person I wanted to be.
Final Thoughts
Chapter 4 was a reminder that change is a process. It’s not about flipping a switch and becoming a new person overnight. It’s about stepping into the gap, staying there, and practicing until your new self feels real.
If you’re feeling stuck, take a moment to check in with yourself. What’s holding you back? What’s pulling you toward your old habits? And most importantly, what’s waiting for you on the other side of the gap?
Remember, you’re not just changing your habits—you’re changing your identity. And that’s a journey worth taking.
